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Days made of Shattered Beach Glass...

[some kind of good luck charm]

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July 18th, 2008

ok, so...

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first of all, to my dear friend cj (as in [info]c_jetsetter) FOR THE LAST TIME, DON'T DATE GRANT. HE IS YOUR DRUMMER. YOU ARE ASKING FOR A BAD, BAD TIME OF WRECK IF YOU DATE HIM WHILE PLAYING IN A BAND WITH HIM. 

*ahem* anyway.

onto my interseting life. 
the dog is sick. so is the boyfriend. "I kissed a girl and I liked it" is awesome, even if Madonna likes it too.
does it ever seem like maybe, just maybe everything you say doesn't really matter and that it's kind of like rain during a storm: dripping down the windowpanes and always resued? 
whatever, I'm tired and strung out on this new crap my doctor gave me.

did a really awesome drawing yesterday, but i has no scanner = you has no picture.
why am i typing like this? oh yeah:
"i spel lyke im homeskooled"
i believe that's how he spelled it.

90 degree weather should be making me happy but it's actually kind of sucking. i lay around the house, doing nothing but complaining and drinking gallons of water and coffee (can't be good for me) watching my DVDs of "That 70's Show" over and over again. Tony's probably worried by now. whatever, if he calls the hospital i will be awesomely perfect and make him look like a fool; I hate hospitals.

i miss Detroit now that I'm stuck in maine again. but at least I can see cj and peyton. 
cj: you are a genius. how are you like, nineteen and able to sing like that and write like that. whatever. 
peyton: you are hot. it is not fair. i hate you <33333
their mom: is awsome.

i miss apple pies and burning skies and that smell of the lake on a hot summer day. so true that you're blue for her. right? tell me, am I right? burn it out, fuckers. just burn it out.

ekses and ohs forevs. 
love, mee.

p.s. somebody talk to me; i am stranded in my own head, and that is never good.
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MUSIC <3

a music survey about YOUR Favorite bands
 
First, name your top 12 bands. 

001. Fall Out Boy
002. Dance Gavin Dance
003. We the Kings
004. Metro Station
005. Sufjan Stevens
006. Paramore
007. The Hush Sound
008. Hit the Lights
009. Armor for Sleep
010. Finley
011. Gang of Four
012. Morningwood

Ok, now answer some questions about Band One [Fall Out Boy].
How did you hear about this band?:
Um, to make a long story short, I had friends who listened to them and they were like, "Here. Best band ever." and I was addicted.

How long have you been listening to them?: 
um, I lost count at like, seven years.

Name one band member.: 
haha, Patrick Stump. [yum]

Does this band have a hot lead singer?: 
Hot doesn't cover it. He is gorgeously amazing..........please, let's not start me.

How long have they been around?: 
2001

Is this your favorite band?: 
Like forever and ever. 

Now, onto Band Two. [Dance Gavin Dance].
Write some random lyrics by this band.: 
"Just keep your arms around me...I won't let your body touch...won't let it touch the ground."
"I don't know why -- I don't know why I fight for you this way."
"Whoever said we had to stop this from happening?"

Are they all girls? Or all guys? Or a mix?: 
All guys; it sounds pretty amazing because they have two frontmen. A singer and a screamer.

Can you name each member of this band?: 
Kurt Travis -- clean vocals
Will Swan -- screamed vocals and guitar
Zac Garren -- Guitar
Matt Mingus -- drums
Jason Ellis -- Bass

(There were several other members that are not with the band anymore)

What was the first song you heard from them?: 
"Lemon Meringue Tie" <-- that was what got me addicted for good. It was like, wow. Amazing because it encompassed the perfect amount of rage and angst with one of the best, most melodic voices I've ever heard, singing beautiful yet disturbed lyrics.  

How many guitar players does this band have?: 
Two. Pretty basic

What kind of music do they play?: 
well, it's been described in genres as "screamo" and "expirimental"
genre definition isn't really my thing :)

Band #3. [We the Kings]
Do any of your friends like this band?: 
um...most of them only know the one song, "Check Yes Juliet," and don't bother with the rest. That's fine I guess, but it bothers me. Then again, I can't talk; when it comes to rap music, I only listen to the singles :p

Is this band mainstream or indie?: 
well, I guess you have to count as Mainstream once you make it onto international radio, huh. No more back pocket secrets :(( oh well. now the world can know the joy that is Travis Clark :)

What are their lyrics usually about?: 
haha, love stories and hometown awesomeness, but it's not that self-centrifical stuff. It's pretty generalized, which is a breath of fresh air because it means almost anyone can relate.

How many cds of theirs do you have?: 
just the one that released to everybody. It's hard to get a copy of their earlier stuff :(((

Have you ever seen them live?: 
No :( [and to Dani, I HAVE SEEN PANIC LIVE!! IT IS LIKE CHECKING OUT REALESTATE IN HEAVEN]

Are they still together?: 
um, as far as I know!

Onward to Band #4. [Metro Station].
Do you have any merchendise from this band?: 
not yet...they're new for me.

Write some random lyrics by them.: 
"Keep your body moving girl -- the beat is thumpin'. Go ahead and let them talk; their words mean nothin'."

How many full-length albums have they put out?: 
One I think, but I could be wrong.

Why do you like this band?: 
Well, when I first heard them I was skeptical because they seemed kind of like a techno-poser-Cute-Is-What-We-Aim-For, but as I listened I kind of got lost in the really amazingly perverted and pathological lyrics. And the music is kind of like the future.

Are they an older or more modern band?: 
Modern.  They're like, shiny-new. They're babies.

Have they ever written a song you hate?: 
I kind of don't like "A Second To You" because Mason Musso's voice sounds...weird I guess, in it.

Number Five. [Sufjan Stevens].
How many members do they have?: 
haha, total solo artist, but I couldn't resist

What's your favorite album of theirs?:
...that's tough. I love "Come and Listen to the Illinoise" but I'm also in love with "Seven Swans."

What was the first song you heard from them?: 
"All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands"

Are(were) they on an indie record label or a major?: 
Indie, I think. again, I could be wrong.

Do they have a logo?: 
not that I know of

Name two members.: Again, solo artist.

Band Number SIX. [Paramore]
Write some random lyrics by them.: 
"Tell me where our time went and if it was time well-spent. Just don't let me fall asleep feeling empty again."

How many albums of theirs do you own?: 
Haha, all of them.

Is this band well-known?: 
Definitely: they turned up in the Senior Favorites section of my brother's yearbook

How long have you been listening to them?: 
Um...maybe a little less than a year.

Do you like their band name?: 
I do. My computer's spell check begs to disagree, however.

Do you know anyone else who likes them?: 
everyone.

Number 7.  [The Hush Sound]
Is the drummer hot?: 
well, kind of? yes. he's not my ..."type" but he's really good looking.

Have they kept the same lineup through their whole career?: 
I believe so?

Is there an aesthetic aspect to this band?: 
well...I think so. Other's might disagree; this is a very vague quesiton.

Do they have videos on Mtv?: 
"Honey"!

Name a band member.: 
Greata Salpeter

What kind of music do they play?: 
Indiepop

Number 8. [Hit the Lights].
Why do you like this band?: 
This band was the soundtrack to my second raging teen romance. My boyfriend of the time introduced them to me and he and I ahve remained best friends of sorts, and so this music holds many good memories both old and new.

Are they better than, worse than, or equal to band #2?: 
mmmmm. so hard to know. sometimes better, but mostly not.

When did they first form?: 
2003

How old were you when you first got into them?: 
oh, fourteen

How many band members are there?: 
Five


Do you own any of their merchendise?: 
haha, yes. many shirts

NINE. [Armor For Sleep].
Are they closer to hard rock, or pop rock?: 
well, harder pop, if you can believe that. They are very rock, but there are a million pop undertones. OH THE NUANCE, I CAN'T TAKE IT! *iz dead*

Write some random lyrics.: 
"Hold your own jacket please: I'm not in the mood. Millions of trains under the ground -- this city was the blueprint for hell."

How old is the lead singer?: 
25

Are they still together?: 
Yes, thank god

Do they swear a lot?: 
haha, well...

Do they write serious lyrics?: 
I think so. For me, the controversey over "Williamsburg" was so stupid. I can relate to that feeling...I am surrounded by souring hipsters.

Band X. [Finley]. <333333333
What record label are they on?: 
Capitol

When did they first form?: 
2003

Was their latest album any good?: 
oh my gosh yes.

How many members are there?: 
4

What's something distinctive about them?:
well, for me (because I am a stupid american) they are Italian and that is amazing. I have actually learned a lot of Italian through listening and singing along with them. My boyfriend (who is full-blooded Italian, but was born in america) actually took me to Italy with him to go see them, and that in itself was the most amazing experience. They are just...wonderful.

Which of their cds has the best artwork?: 
Please, don't ask me to choose!

Number 11. Close to the end. [Gang of Four].
Name some lyrics.: 
"The problem of leisure: what to do for pleasure? I do love a new purchase -- a market of the senses. Dream of the perfect life. Economic circumstances; nobody is good buisness. Sell out, maintain the interest....remember, that's why. Dream of the perfect life."

What was their best album?: 
Entertainment!

Is the lead singer a guy or a chick?: 
Dude

Do they have any videos on Mtv?: 
Not that I know of? I haven't been into them for very long tho......

What kind of music do they play?: 
Kind of....old punk

How long have you liked this band?: 
like, a few months. I found them through a movie soundtrack.

Number 12! Almost finished... [Morningwood].
Why do you like this band?: 
the brand of music is so eighties. but it's still today. and chantal Claret's voice makes me just wish I had a girlfriend

Can you name each band member?: 
Chantal Claret, Pedro Yanowitz

Do they still have their original lineup?: 
yeah. The drums and guitar parts are interchangable and are never officail parts of the band.

Is it likely you'll find their cds and merchendise at the mall?: 
yeah, well, the CD's anyway.

How long have they been around?: 
since 2001

Are they lyrically talented?: 
oh my god, talented like perfection

FINALLY, name you favorite songs by each band. (oh this is gunna be hard)
Band 1 [Fall Out Boy]. - TIE: "Chicago Is SO 2 Years Ago" and "G.I.N.S.F.S." fuck, best acronym ever.
Band 2 [Dance Gavin Dance]. - "Alex English"
Band 3 [We the Kings] :: -- "Stay Young"
Band 4 [Metro Station]. - "Control"
Band 5 [Sufjan Stevens]. - "The Tallest Man, The Broadest Shoulders"
Band 6 [Paramore] ::  TIE AGAIN: "Franklin" and "My Heart"
Band 7 [The Hush Sound] :: "Eileen"
Band 8 [Hit the Lights]. - "The Callout"
Band 9 [Armor For Sleep]. - "My Town"
Band 10 [Finley]. - "Sirene"
Band 11 [Gang of Four]. - "Natural's Not In It"
Band 12 [Morningwood] - "Babysitter" hands down. everyone needs to listen to that perverted work of perfeciton.

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June 30th, 2008

about me? well alright

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1. First Name:
Indie

2. Age:
16...I'm gettin' up there.

3. Location
The Middle of reakin' nowhere (Maine, ugh)

4. Occupation:
Student, and the resident book geek behind the counter at the Coastal Bookshop

5. Partner:
no real "partner" but I've got this amazing boyfriend...

6. Kids:
not yet...someday, though

7. Brothers/Sisters:
I have two older brothers, but since I never met them until I was 13, we never had a real sibling trivalry.

8. Pets:
Three cats, all of which are lovable but annoying and have strange names: There's Avalon, our resident retarded cat (no seriously, he is mentally challenged). There's Egypt, the same cat I've had since second grade who hates everyone, even other cats. Then there's the baby, Aresvik, who my mom named after a person from Norway. I know, what?

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
I was hospitalized a few days ago, that was scary...um, my boyfriend is away and that kind of stresses me out. I spent half my paycheck on a sale...haha, I really am a loser.

10. Parents:
Mom's the only one. No dad, so......

11. Who are some of your closest friends?:
Ashlee, because she is amazing and wonderful. Connor, whom I've known since I was like, twelve. He got me into Fall Out Boy, haha. Lindsay, my favorite lesbian. and...yeah that's it.

12. Addendum (other things you should know about me):
well, I'm a fairly boring person as anyone will tell you:
I write songs a lot, and stories too. I tend to have nightmares a lot, but whatevs. 
Also, I've got good self-esteem, and that means a lot in this modern world.
Tags:

Got this from

 

1.    List ten random things you love
2. List ten random things you hate

LOVESSS:
001.  Fall Out Boy.
002.  VH1's "I Love the new Millenium" even tho it makes me feel OLD.
003.  Mint heathbar crunch icecream.
004.  my cats.
005. haha, school, cause I'm a loser.
006. my family.
007. haha, fanfic of course :)
008. the 7-up commercial with the bunnies.
009. My wonderful jetsetting friend Ashlee <3 
010. I'm a shallow teenager: shopping. 

HATESSS:
001.  "friends" who don't like you when you dress different than the year before.
002.  people who are like, "You can't be gay/bi and change your mind but if you're straight you can."
003.  how in the winter, my iPod dies.  
004.  medication...ugh.
005.  Digital Underground...they scare me, just a little bit.
006.  really BAD reality TV shows.
007.  Tabloid journalists (they always get it wrong, no matter who's side they're on).
008.  The 7-up commercial with the bunnies. 
009.  How Hot Topic only has shoes up to size 8 (I'm a 9).
010.  drugs (weed, coke, and other stupid things people do).

[info]xarmaangelusx :
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June 28th, 2008

I wanna’ be forgotten, and I don’t want you to remind me

Why I feel so rotten in the first place.

I wanna’ be remembered for more than all that I’ve done;

I don’t wanna’ be remembered for my name. You can count on me….

 

To take what I deserve and turn it into words,

Articulate and so much better than anything you’ve heard about me.

Don’t believe a thing you hear and only half of what you see.

 

I don’t need you, so don’t think that I’m gonna’ keep on waiting

For you – I will leave when you don’t change.

I can’t stick with one thing for too long – it’s a blessing

And a curse, but mostly it’s just fun. You can count on me…

 

To take what I deserve and turn it into words,

Articulate and so much better than anything you’ve heard about me.

Don’t believe a thing you hear and only half of what you see.

 

You can’t compare me to rumors; you can’t even imagine reality. 

 

I can take what I deserve and turn it into words,

Articulate and so much better than anything you’ve heard about me.

Don’t believe a thing you hear and only half of what you see.

 

Hello Stranger (song)

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Hello Stranger, can you really see me? Rain is pouring over the city –

Thunder crashes high above my head.

Lightning flashes outside my window, reminding me how I wish you would throw

Rocks at it, shattering the glass. 
 

The rain is coming down on my head when you’re around.

A stupid teenage crush is all I need to bring me down.

 

Hello Stranger, I see you everywhere I look; it’s getting annoying.

I just dreamt I fell into your arms…in reality, out of my chair.

Everybody laughs, points, and stares at me but it won’t register.

 

The rain is coming down on my head when you’re around.

A stupid teenage crush is all I need to bring me down.

 

When you’re around, I swear you know about everything inside my head.

Read me with your eyes – it scares me sometimes, but not as bad as I scare myself.

 

The rain is coming down on my head when you’re around.

A stupid teenage crush is all I need to bring me…

 

Hello Stranger, can you even hear me right now as I sing in assembly –

Bet you’ll never guess who you are. I don’t mind – it’s like I’m Houdini,

Locked boxes without any meaning – I escape from the inside out.

 

The rain is coming down, the rain is coming down,

The rain is coming down, but it’s fine cause you’re around.

I know you can’t stand me most of the time, but why should I apologize

For every single night I wrote vows onto pages, exposing all my secrets?

I know there’s not much time left for someone so bereft of guilt…

It’s easy for you to say you love me. I’m catching on to sincerity. It’s like beauty…

 

Make me promises Boy, because you know I won’t keep my word:

I’m losing my mind over you – I’m losing sleep. I hope you’re home and safe,

But that’s not the case – the tired look on your face gives all the answers away. 

 

“Can’t we talk this over? Stay with me this time.” You say for the hundredth time.

Why do you even bother – why do you keep on trying?

I miss you more than I did before – you showed me your heart while

I showed you the door. Your subtlety is so sultry that you’ve got me feeling sincerity.

 

Make me promises Boy, because you know I won’t keep my word:

I’m losing my mind over you – I’m losing sleep. I hope you’re home and safe,

But that’s not the case – the tired look on your face gives all the answers away. 

 

I’ve been waiting for the right time to decide where all my loyalties lie –

Are you getting sick of my lies? Do I drive you right out of your mind?

I should stop waiting because time could decide whether I keep your mind.

Are you getting sick of my lies – do I drive you right out of your mind, boy?

Remember, you’re my boy.    

 

Make me promises Boy, because you know I won’t keep my word:

I’m losing my mind over you – I’m losing sleep. I hope you’re home and safe,

But that’s not the case – the tired look on your face gives all the answers away. 

 

Internal Insecurity (song)

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I woke up today from a nightmare again, and I realized that it had come true.

I have myself to blame, with my vices and my games –

I guess I just couldn’t face the truth. I fight a war each day,

But I’m losing anyway…everyday.

 

I hate my mirror and myself – hate the person staring back at me.

I’d smash the glass with my bare hand if only because I want to be better than I am.

 

I got what I deserve – I should be happy now, but every time I look into the mirror,

It’s killing me. Inside I know it’s not true, but then I think of you

And all the hurtful things you said about me.

I don’t know what to do – I’m starting to think it’s true. It gets me blue….

 

I hate my mirror and myself – hate the person staring back at me.

I’d smash the glass with my bare hand if only because I want to be better than I am.

 

I hate myself superficially…I don’t what to do.

Don’t think I’ll make it through another day of being blue.

I don’t know what you'd say; I don’t care anymore anyway.

 

I hate my mirror and myself – hate the person staring back at me.

I’d smash the glass with my bare hand if only because I want to be better than I am.  

But I know I left all my friends for another reason in the end,

How do you make friendships work when you’ve outgrown all of your friends?

 

I hate myself for growing up. 

Life's Too Short (song)

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It always feels like the last day of my life’s coming fast:

I always catch myself rushing around. I feel my world is crashing down,

Shattering on this small town – I feel I need to get away.

 

I used to wear cover up and always beat myself up

For not looking like everyone else, but I realized I was wasting time;

Hating myself is a crime against my free will.

 

I feel like I’ve gone a week without sleep and I feel like I’ll drown.

Who am I and is it forever? Why did I leave my hometown?

 

I used to always sleep in the day, but now I sleep the normal way.

It feels weird to be normal. It took time to get used to the real me –

For years I’d refused to see who I really was inside. I guess I finally changed my mind.

 

I used to spend over an hour wasting water in the shower –

Now it takes ten minutes at most. I see myself inside the mirror

And cheer myself on cause it’s clear that last year’s girl is but a ghost.

 

I used to think that I had to be different to be valid, that’s why I always acted

So strange, but this is me for real this time.

 

I used to always sleep in the day, but now I sleep the normal way.

It feels weird to be normal. It took time to get used to the real me –

For years I’d refused to see who I really was inside. I guess I finally changed my mind.

 

I figured myself out – I worked uphill and couldn’t look down:

That’s why I made it this far. 

 

I used to always sleep in the day, but now I sleep the normal way.

It feels weird to be normal. It took time to get used to the real me –

For years I’d refused to see who I really was inside. I guess I finally changed my mind.

 

I’m tripping on my feet – I’m blushing up a storm:

I want to keep my cool and I’m sure

I’m failing miserably, but he won’t notice me.

If I can’t be noticed, what’s the difference?

 

I’m feeling worthless, cause I get so nervous; he’s imperfectly perfect.

 

This is what I want to say, “Wanna go on a date today?

Tomorrow’s just fine – you’ll pick me up what time?”

If I could be who I want to be, I’d be perfect for you – oh please.

Sorry, not today – guess I’m wasting my life away on something I’ll never get.

 

It won’t do me any good to waste all of my time

Dreaming of being with you. Someone remind

Me of other things that I have to get done.

Maybe if I focus, I’ll forget this one.

 

I’m feeling worthless, cause I get so nervous; he’s imperfectly perfect.

 

This is what I want to say, “Wanna go on a date today?

Tomorrow’s just fine – you’ll pick me up what time?”

If I could be who I want to be, I’d be perfect for you – oh please.

Sorry, not today – guess I’m wasting my life away on something I’ll never get.

 

What’s wrong with my head? I know better than this.

Who’d I hurt to deserve this unrequited feeling?  

 

I’m feeling worthless, cause I get so nervous; he’s imperfectly perfect.

Guess I’m wasting my life away on something I’ll never get.

 

This is what I want to say, “Wanna go on a date today?

Tomorrow’s just fine – you’ll pick me up what time?”

If I could be who I want to be, I’d be perfect for you – oh please.

Sorry, not today – guess I’m wasting my life away on something I’ll never get.

 

He’s someone I’ll never get.

 

Maine, it seems, got colder and it’s not the weather – it’s my friends.

I never thought that I’d feel like an outsider among their kind.

But everyday the feeling grows stronger – it’s taking them a little too long for

Me because I am growing out of them.

 

Please let me tell my side of the story: It’s not like I planned this – it’s not what I wanted.

I’m in a strange position: I’m growing up, and they’re no longer enough.

 

Maine, it seems, got colder and it’s not the weather – it’s my friends.

I never thought that I’d feel like an outsider among their kind.

But everyday the feeling grows stronger – it’s taking them a little too long for

Me because I am growing out of them.

 

I wish this song wasn’t a break-up, because behind the make-up, I’m as angry as you.

I know my words hit where it hurts most, and I apologize profusely.

 

Maine, it seems, got colder and it’s not the weather – it’s my friends.

I never thought that I’d feel like an outsider among their kind.

But everyday the feeling grows stronger – it’s taking them a little too long for

Me because I am growing out of them.

 

I should have known better than this; how could I think I was right for this?

Late nights, fist fights – I’m not that type. Why did I think I could be that?

 

Maine, it seems, got colder and it’s not the weather – it’s my friends.

I never thought that I’d feel like an outsider among their kind.

But everyday the feeling grows stronger – it’s taking them a little too long for

Me because I am growing out of them.

Anthony (song)

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I built a wall between us because I was scared,

But you – you knew just how to make me feel prepared.

There was a time when I – I just felt way too shy

To speak with you because you’re too nice of a guy.

 

Don’t love me because I’m strange: I’m not as weird as people say.

I’m so sick of the word “intrigue” – it’s what people expect of me.

I’m not that interesting.

 

You’re so sweet and so completely lovable

While I’m so bitter though I seem so comfortable.

I’m so upset beneath the inexplicable;

You’re so upbeat, you make me feel so comfortable.

 

Don’t love me because I’m strange: I’m not as weird as people say.

I’m so sick of the word “intrigue” – it’s what people expect of me.

I’m not that interesting.

 

La, la, la…la.

 

Don’t love me because I’m strange: I’m not as weird as people say.

I’m so sick of the word “intrigue.” I’m so sick of the word “intrigue.”

I’m so sick of the word “intrigue,” because I’m not that interesting. 

 

A Lover's Hurricane (song)

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I’ve washed up on a beach and there’s an afterglow

That’s coming from the sea – I stand in the shallows

And I’m not as afraid: you’re at my side in this high tide.

Afraid, I should be: we’re lost at sea, but I’m not scared – you’re with me.

 

There’s a warm breeze coming from the East –

It smells of romance and keeps me entranced.

As I sleep here in the soft sand, I’m dreaming of you, and always of you.

 

Jailbirds on a paradise sentenced to death

By a sad mishap: not a breath goes by without a sigh.

The heat is wet, the air heavy with something more than sun:

Something’s going wrong. I’m not afraid.

 

There’s a warm breeze coming from the East –

It smells of romance and keeps me entranced.

As I sleep here in the soft sand, I’m dreaming of you, and always of you.

 

Thunder roars above: a hurricane disturbs our calm.

Rain pours down our backs, and we without shelter are lost in the water.

Days go by without sunshine.   

 

There’s a warm breeze coming from the East –

It smells of romance and keeps me entranced.

As I sleep here in the soft sand, I’m dreaming of you, and always of you.

 

I’m listening closely to every word that you’re speaking;

I drink it in like the sweetest water, soft and healing.

There is an ocean near my house where we could sail away

And drink the water that gets brighter with the break of day.

 

I wish you’d teach me how to swim – I’m sinking: drowning in a sea of sin.

Rescue me and we could sail away – we could disappear into the end of the day.

Because nobody speaks to me quite the way you do.

Because nobody loves like you; the things you do….  

 

I used to feel so guilty every time your name spilled from my lips;

I look into your eyes and I see a pair of ships:

They’re capsizing, like birds with wings that have been clipped.

I spend hours spelling your name in puddles of rain.

 

I wish you’d teach me how to swim – I’m sinking: drowning in a sea of sin.

Rescue me and we could sail away – we could disappear into the end of the day.

Because nobody speaks to me quite the way you do.

Because nobody loves like you; the things you do….  

 

I’m sick and tired of feeling drowned; I need to be asleep and calmed down.

I’m sick and tired of feeling drowned; I need to be asleep and calmed down.

Nobody plays into my emotions like you do, and no one understands me the way you do. 
I’m sick and tired of feeling drowned; I need to be asleep and calmed down.

 

I need to fall asleep with you around.

 

Mother's Love (song)

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An argument’s inside my mouth again: it tastes bitter and

We shouldn’t act like this, though it’s just another verse

From a scene that we’ve rehearsed a hundred times over.

 

Mother, you were the first – you’re best and the worst parent I’ve ever had.

So I guess I guess that I’ve learned my lesson in history and how it returns to haunt the world.

 

So say goodbye to the old – ring in the new: there’s no point in resistance

Because I’m through with living your lies. “I love you” for the last time.

I know better than that: there’s no truth in the matter of who’s who in this life;

I’m your daughter, but only on the outside.

 

Well isn’t this scene just so typical? She’s frustrated so

She thinks that she can buy her daughter out

Into shutting up about her homesickness.

 

‘Cause that’s how we get by now in this modern life: price tags and checkouts –

If you can buy something nice, you can buy someone’s happiness for just the right price.

But that’s such a fucking lie.

 

So say goodbye to the old – ring in the new: there’s no point in resistance

Because I’m through with living your lies. “I love you” for the last time.

I know better than that: there’s no truth in the matter of who’s who in this life;

I’m your daughter, but only on the outside.

 

You know better, but you can’t admit to it, either. 

 

So say goodbye to the old – ring in the new: there’s no point in resistance

Because I’m through with living your lies. “I love you” for the last time.

I know better than that: there’s no truth in the matter of who’s who in this life;

I’m your daughter, but only in the afterlife.

April 22nd, 2008

New Songs

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"An Arguementative Kick"

What you see ain't what you get when you let me mess with your head.
I've got tricks up both my sleeves, and you shouldn't put
Anything past me. My affection's purely sex when it comes to you;
I could've cared, but you warned me ahead of time – so smooth.

I'll replace all the drugs with what you think is love;
I love how you think that you can trust me. I'm in love,
But I'm giving up. You're not the one because you just want lust.

I pour my life into this lie – you can't see me eye-to-eye.
You want something I don't have, but I still try; I'm a good friend like that.
The side-effect is too much sex – even too much for me.
The side-effects include a stretch – just get me on my knees.

I'll replace all the drugs with what you think is love;
I love how you think that you can trust me. I'm in love,
But I'm giving up. You're not the one because you just want lust.

You're a playa', I'm your pleasure…say my fucking name.

I'll replace all the drugs with what you think is love;
I love how you think that you can trust me. I'm in love,
But I'm giving up. You're not the one because you just want lust.

XXX

"The Boy Is So Sexual"

I stole a cigarette from him since he went to sleep before me –
A miniscule act of revenge, but fuck, it's kind of funny to watch him squirm.
His stomach churns whenever he thinks of me
And that's the way I like it – I'd never change a damn thing.

I know you want it – boy, you better earn it.

He's my personal star: the back of the car
Is practically the bed – don't make too much mess.
NC-17 – my life's a teen dream; a nightmareish love is not enough.
He's more than enough – he's a little too much.

Why did you show up today? Did you think you'd surprise me?
Well too bad, baby: I already told you, there's no cherry.
He nags me to take the pictures: "Indie, be my centerfold."
But when I see him, all I think is, "You could be on my wall."

Boy, you know you've got it – and oh, I really want it.

He's my personal star: the back of the car
Is practically the bed – don't make too much mess.
NC-17 – my life's a teen dream; a nightmareish love is not enough.
He's more than enough – he's a little too much.

I'll make you want it because I know that love it.

He's my personal star: the back of the car
Is practically the bed – don't make too much mess.
NC-17 – my life's a teen dream; a nightmareish love is not enough.
He's more than enough – he's a little too much.

XXX

"Backseat Driver"

Last night I fell asleep in the middle of Las Vegas –
Woke up this morning on a beach in San Diego.
California's only a burst of temporary sunshine inside my life;
The highway is my last lie.

Too tired to believe that in fact, it all happened to me.
Too happy to be anyone but me.

Please don't wake me up from this dream:
I'm not crazy, my reality's different from yours.
I can't understand why I can't do what makes me
Happy just because it's not secure.

I saw stars by the ocean, then the waves crashed around me –
We were "romance" in motion -- poetry was too classy.
The water rushed fast between us, kind of like time,
But we trapped it in bottles along with West Coast sand. I don't mind.

Too tired to believe that in fact, it all happened to me.
Too happy to be anyone but me.

Please don't wake me up from this dream:
I'm not crazy, my reality's different from yours.
I can't understand why I can't do what makes me
Happy just because it's not secure.

Last night I dreamt we never made it farther than Vegas –
We were drowning in white lights. I wish you could have seen us….

Please don't wake me up from this dream:
I'm not crazy, my reality's different from yours.
I can't understand why I can't do what makes me
Happy just because it's not secure.

December 25th, 2007

Are there any celebrities you admire?

Brought to you by HP


View 176 Answers

Let's kick things off with Johnny Depp -- first of all, I love his choice of films to work with: they're a little nutty, but quirky enough to make it work. Come on: Edward Scissorands, Chocolate, Pirates, and now -- my god -- Sweeny Todd? They all win me over...also, his ability to act is amazing! When I watch his films, it's like magic: "Johnny Depp is Willy Wonka" not "Johnny Depp is playing Willy Wonka."
Then, there's Johnathan Larson, the creator of RENT. To me, it doesn't particularly matter that he wrote the music/lyrics/plot for just RENT. The man worked 8 hours a day for years on many, many musicals with no one paying him to do it. He truly loved music. 
Ok, and just because there's a bit of fangirl in all of us, Rupert Grint. He's amazing... ... ...oh yeah, and he can act too! ^_^

December 14th, 2007

I swagger backwards and my brain is failing me

But it doesn’t really matter: everybody sees I’m out of control.

Bathroom door’s locked and the shower’s on but it doesn’t really matter

Because you’ll never know.

 

Nobody’s complained – though the lights are blown.

I know you’ll complain when the police show.

 

Shouldda’ known by now – you shouldda’ known by now.

There’ll be knocks on the door and cracks in the floor as it goes. Whoa…

 

My blood’s been intoxicated; I’ll just relax and sit back

While boys-in-bands fall asleep in my lap.

There’s a knock on my door in the quiet night – parties never sleep

And bad girls never die.

 

Shouldda’ known by now – you shouldda’ known by now.

Give it a rest – your tongue’s the best, ok? Shouldda’ known by now –

You shouldda’ known by now. There’ll be knocks on the door

And cracks in the floor as it goes. Whoa…

 

There’s no one there – I’m passed out on the thirty-first floor

With a bottle between your door. You know, the rumors are hollow –

There’s no room for tomorrow. If I could take it all back – well I could, but I won’t.    

 

Sit back while boys-in-bands fall asleep in my lap.

There’s a knock on my door in the quiet night –

Parties never sleep and bad girls never die.

 

Shouldda’ known by now – you shouldda’ known by now.

Give it a rest – your tongue’s the best, ok? Shouldda’ known by now –

You shouldda’ known by now. There’ll be knocks on the door

And cracks in the floor as it goes. Whoa…

 

You are the only star I’ve ever known: I wished on you in the back parking lot

Of the factory where you rescued me. You’re not a gentleman –

You can be a prick, but I don’t regret any bit of it.

 

I’m your follower – your Mary. Don’t forget, I had you drink for drink:

Cherry coke in a bar with nowhere to go.

 

Everything we’ve said, everything we’ve done,

Everything we’ve had – everything we have is falling apart.

 

It was the only place I could have gone: the back of a beaten-up van in the dark.

Your eyes are headlights and I am the doe. I’ve got your caramel brights on my mind.

You stick to the windows because your tongue froze.

You had me dream for dream at the edge of the world in a washed-up hotel.    

 

Everything we’ve said, everything we’ve done,

Everything we’ve had – everything we have is falling apart…

 

…on the stairs of your front porch.

I need to find a way out because you’ve blinded me.

Love is blind for you…

 

You’re not a gentleman – you can be a prick, but I don’t regret any bit of it.

I’m your follower – your Mary. You had me dream for dream

At the edge of the world in a washed-up hotel.    

 

Everything we’ve said, everything we’ve done,

Everything we’ve had – everything we have

 

You have stayed with me wherever I’ve gone like a butterfly trapped in my heart.

Red hair and a shallow, calloused hand: your best friends wear designer brands. 
An artist tried and true -- I'm proof, but look at you: fake on the outside, but steady when you stand. 
Apply those insults like it's your job; you know your ways are flawed.

You want an easy way out, but you'll get caught -- I have no doubt. 
You don't stand a chance tonight because you don't know wrong from right.

Trapped in a moment so tight -- undressed and lookin' just right. 
You're here tonight, I don't know why, but...a smeary kiss. It led to this: 
"What did I miss this time?"

You want an easy way out, but you'll get caught -- I have no doubt. 
You don't stand a chance tonight because you don't know wrong from right.

Body language is something that I learned -- I learned it from you. 
Body language is something that I've mastered and it can't be concealed. 
Body language is something that I learned, but I just can't teach you, cause I'll get caught.

You want an easy way out, but you'll get caught -- I have no doubt. 
You don't stand a chance tonight because you don't know wrong from right.

You want to know which way to go; 
Wait till you find out what you've really got with that piece of me that I gave you. 
You think you know me, but you don't know: you think you can kiss-and-tell, but these lips are sealed.

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